Unicorn Bites 11/17/13
When I see a driver’s ed student try to parallel park I throw my body against the back of his car & scream in pain. Fear is the best teacher — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn […]
Tag: husband
Unicorn Bites 11/11/13
Me: You sound like a broken record. 3-year-old: What’s that? M: It’s an old type of CD. 3: What’s a CD? Me: *moves into a nursing home* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 11, […]
Unicorn Bites 10/29/13
When I see the frazzled parents of a newborn, I tell them, "Don't worry. It gets easier." Then I laugh maniacally for 20 minutes. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2013 Me: "That’s […]
Doggone website
My wife recently updated my website, and since it’s not completely finished she put up a “consolation” photo — which shows the expression our dog often gets whenever he sees us doing all that confusing […]
Unicorn Bites 10/19/13
Don’t kid yourself. You don’t have multiple personalities. As far as I can tell, you don’t even have one. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 19, 2013 Autocorrect changed “honor” to “honour” because apparently […]
Unicorn Bites 10/7/13
Wife: You ate all the cookies! Me: I saved you from the calories. W: M: It’s like I dove on a grenade for you W: Me: I deserve a medal — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn […]
Love Messages To My Husband….Sort Of
My husband never listens to voicemails from me. I find this strange because if I got voicemail from me, I would listen immediately. In fact, I might actually ignore the call from me just so […]
Trolls, Potions, and Myths, Oh My!
The other night, I was diligently working from my home office when my husband interrupted to ask me a question. Okay, so maybe I wasn’t doing so much of my actual work that earns me a paycheck. Perhaps when […]