Is Your Family Tree Infested?
There’s an old saying: “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.” I prefer to think of family a lot like picking your nose—you’re always going to find one big booger.” Every […]
Tag: relatives
Discovering My Incredible Genetic History
[The following article by Tim Jones contains no factual information of any kind. Not a scintilla of truth. We felt a journalistic responsibility to thus inform our readers. We fear Mr. Jones is starting to […]
Surviving Christmas Dinner with Relatives
The weather is getting colder. The hours of daylight are rapidly waning. And Costco has inflatable eight-foot Snow Globes on sale (although in full disclosure, these went on sale in early September). The holiday season […]
13 People Who Could Very Well Stay At Home This Thanksgiving (The Remix)
In the event that any of my family members thinks I’m poking fun at them on the sly in the following list, allow me to say, it’s all just good, fun humor folks. Sure, a […]
Cremation Sensations
Death got you down? Your Great Aunt Mildred just died. When you were a kid she used to spit chewing tobacco on your new shoes. When you reached 30 and hadn’t married she called you […]
Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, and Me: We’re All Related
My cousin, Phil, is an avid genealogist, who attends every Dillman Family function imaginable, and has a collection of historical data that includes pictures of our great-great Cherokee grandmother (um, well, we thought she was […]
Older Brothers Behaving Badly
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
Single Old Female
Married people and people with children sometimes say the darnedest things to single childless people… and by darnedest I mean – dumb, stupid, inane, insulting, ridiculous, and for a big finish let me whip out […]
A Lesson in Humor: If You Can Laugh, When You Lose Your Nads…
My dad had a great sense of humor. He showed me many times the value of being able to laugh at yourself and the world around you. When he was diagnosed with late-stage metastatic cancer […]
Climbing My Family Tree Once More
I should tell you about my Uncle Philbert, the eccentric billionaire. He was always afraid we’d be after him for money. He was right. So he cleaned out all his bank accounts, faked his own […]