Unicorn Bites 2/18/14
Wife: Do you want this piece of cheese? I dropped it Me: Are you seriously offering me food off the floor? W: M: W: M: W: M:*eats it* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 18, 2014 […]
Tag: cheese
Unicorn Bites 12/28/13
Me: I’m a bad boy. Wife: If you mean you’re bad at being a boy, then yes. Me: Wife: What? You have more estrogen than a yogurt commercial — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December […]
Unicorn Bites 11/27/13
My wife has a catchphrase. It’s “no.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 27, 2013 “No, I can’t ‘make’ time for you. Time can’t be created or destroyed. LEARN SCIENCE, MOTHER FUCKER.” That Jehovah’s […]
Please vote for me
I’m beginning to wonder if my application to become the next Pope has been taken seriously. Having said that, I’m not even sure if vatican0000@gmail.com is the right email address. I wasn’t sure if I […]
Vive La France, But Not in August
My mother is arriving from Paris in a few weeks and I’ll face the same questions Americans ask me when they first find out I have a French mother. Here are my answers: 1. The […]
How To Order A Philly Cheesesteak Like A Local
After a recent visit back to my hometown, the city of brotherly love Philadelphia, I realized I’d been too long away from the city and needed to be refreshed on some of the basic city […]
The Deli Wars
Usually, when I do my “big” shopping, I ask my husband to come along so we can split up the list and get out of the supermarket as quickly as possible. Our first stop was […]