Unicorn Bites 8/3/14
I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’ve never seen Indiana Jones and Han Solo in the same room… — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2014 He said cheese wasn’t that great. Long story short, I accidentally […]
Tag: cheese
Unicorn Bites 5/22/14
My kids’ favorite magic trick is the one where they make my patience disappear. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2014 I got glitter on my skin from my daughter’s art project and now all […]
Turn and Serve
I often think about myself. One time I thought about nothing but myself for 17 years, 11 months days, 30 days and 59 minutes. And then without any prior notice, a minute later, I turned […]
Cheese Fondue and World Peace
Swiss Entree CHEESE FONDUE INGREDIENTS 6 ounces gruyère cheese 6 ounces emmenthaler cheese 1/2 baguette or French bread 3/4 cup dry white wine ½ teaspoon lemon juice ½ tablespoon corn starch 1 ½ tablespoons […]
Grilled Ham and Dill Havarti Sandwiches and the Discovery of America
Fusion Entree GRILLED HAM AND DILL HAVARTI SANDWICH INGREDIENTS 6 tablespoons butter 8 slices of your favorite bread 1 pound slice deli ham 6 ounces dill Havarti cheese PREPARATION Cut butter into 4 equal pieces […]
Pasta Sauce, Butter, and World Peace
Italian Appetizer PASTA SAUCE INGREDIENTS 2 garlic cloves 2 pounds Roma tomatoes 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 teaspoon basil 1 teaspoon marjoram 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon oregano 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon savory […]
Unicorn Bites 2/18/14
Wife: Do you want this piece of cheese? I dropped it Me: Are you seriously offering me food off the floor? W: M: W: M: W: M:*eats it* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 18, 2014 […]
Unicorn Bites 12/28/13
Me: I’m a bad boy. Wife: If you mean you’re bad at being a boy, then yes. Me: Wife: What? You have more estrogen than a yogurt commercial — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December […]
Unicorn Bites 11/27/13
My wife has a catchphrase. It’s “no.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 27, 2013 “No, I can’t ‘make’ time for you. Time can’t be created or destroyed. LEARN SCIENCE, MOTHER FUCKER.” That Jehovah’s […]
Please vote for me
I’m beginning to wonder if my application to become the next Pope has been taken seriously. Having said that, I’m not even sure if vatican0000@gmail.com is the right email address. I wasn’t sure if I […]