Turn and Serve

I often think about myself. One time I thought about nothing but myself for 17 years, 11 months days, 30 days and 59 minutes. And then without any prior notice, a minute later, I turned […]

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Cheese Fondue and World Peace

Swiss Entree   CHEESE FONDUE INGREDIENTS 6 ounces gruyère cheese 6 ounces emmenthaler cheese 1/2 baguette or French bread 3/4 cup dry white wine ½ teaspoon lemon juice ½ tablespoon corn starch 1 ½ tablespoons […]

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Grilled Ham and Dill Havarti Sandwiches and the Discovery of America

Fusion Entree GRILLED HAM AND DILL HAVARTI  SANDWICH INGREDIENTS 6 tablespoons butter 8 slices of your favorite bread 1 pound slice deli ham 6 ounces dill Havarti cheese PREPARATION Cut butter into 4 equal pieces […]

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Pasta Sauce, Butter, and World Peace

Italian Appetizer PASTA SAUCE INGREDIENTS 2 garlic cloves 2 pounds Roma tomatoes 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 teaspoon basil 1 teaspoon marjoram 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon oregano 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon savory […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/18/14

Wife: Do you want this piece of cheese? I dropped it Me: Are you seriously offering me food off the floor? W: M: W: M: W: M:*eats it* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 18, 2014 […]

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Unicorn Bites 12/28/13

Me: I’m a bad boy. Wife: If you mean you’re bad at being a boy, then yes. Me: Wife: What? You have more estrogen than a yogurt commercial — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December […]

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Unicorn Bites 11/27/13

My wife has a catchphrase. It’s “no.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 27, 2013 “No, I can’t ‘make’ time for you. Time can’t be created or destroyed. LEARN SCIENCE, MOTHER FUCKER.” That Jehovah’s […]

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Please vote for me

I’m beginning to wonder if my application to become the next Pope has been taken seriously. Having said that, I’m not even sure if vatican0000@gmail.com is the right email address. I wasn’t sure if I […]

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How To Order A Philly Cheesesteak Like A Local

After a recent visit back to my hometown, the city of brotherly love Philadelphia, I realized I’d been too long away from the city and needed to be refreshed on some of the basic city […]

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