Weed Whacked
Hi, my name is Heidi and I’m a pot-smoking vegan. Okay, raise your hand if you thought you’d never hear me say that? All hands up? Good. Thankfully, I’m wearing Chanel underpants as I say […]
Tag: humoroutcasts
Unicorn Bites 1/29/14
I oppose deporting Justin Bieber for his crimes. This is America, after all. We have the death penalty. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 29, 2014 Florida is set to vote on whether to allow medical […]
Burping and Farting Cows Burn Down Barn
Belching and farting cows are blamed for an explosion in a barn in Germany. Apparently, the gaseous emissions from about 90 cows raised the methane in the barn to dangerous levels before reacting with static […]
Can I Offer You Some Meth?
In North Korea, when guests enter a home many are offered meth instead of coffee, tea or any other type of beverage. In fact, North Koreans use meth to treat colds, coughs, aches and pains. […]
Unicorn Bites 1/28/14
Coworker: Can you jump my car? Me: Probably. I can jump pretty high. Coworker: I’ll ask someone else. Me: Is it because I’m white? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 28, 2014 1-year-old: *takes my ChapStick* […]
Unicorn Bites 1/27/14
3-year-old: Daddy, what is your job? Me: I sit in a cubicle all day and try not to be sad. 3: Apparently I was supposed to lie. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2014 *1-year-old […]
Unicorn Bites 1/25/14
Hey, scientists: If wizards and spells aren’t real, then explain magic markers. *scientists’ heads explode* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 25, 2014 My 3-year-old said, “Daddy, when you die, can I wear makeup?” If the […]
More Opera for People Who Don’t Like It
In my last post, I talked about prostitutes, psychos and tuberculosis. In this one, I will discuss various violent means by which operatic characters meet their ends. Some of these would make the ID Channel […]