Diary of a Dieter
October 10, 2015 I have just come from my friend D’s house, where she showed us the pictures she took of our trip to Oyster Bay in August. I saw myself as the camera sees […]
Tag: diets
Try PLACEBOLAX, the exciting new miracle weight loss cure. Start losing it all today!
Introducing Placebolax® – from SCAMCO – the company that brought you the (not-quite-FDA-approved) sleep interrupter device Miracle Snore and Eye Can See, the popular battery-operated do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit. Try Placebolax today and you’ll […]
Unicorn Bites 6/1/14
Wife: Can you kill this spider? Me: Sure. As soon as I get out of the bathroom. *climbs out window* *leaves the country* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 1, 2014 “I bet it would be […]
Weed Whacked
Hi, my name is Heidi and I’m a pot-smoking vegan. Okay, raise your hand if you thought you’d never hear me say that? All hands up? Good. Thankfully, I’m wearing Chanel underpants as I say […]
Housewarming Gifts That Will Always Be Remembered
Several people I know have moved in the last few months, and so my mind has been focused on finding housewarming gifts that would fit each new homeowner’s personality. I have scoured retail stores and […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember: Suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions
I will stop tickling the cat when she is not looking. I will at least attempt to go on a diet – for a few days, anyway. I promise to get rid of all the […]
Fork It Over and Get Skinny or at Least Happy
None of your diet programs have worked and you can’t figure out why? Maybe it’s not what you eat but how you eat. Sound plausible? Well, then maybe you need the HAPIfork. Yep, for […]
Everything Good for You Tastes Rotten, Smells Bad or Hurts
All you Baby Boomers and other oldsters — remember when you were a kid and you scraped your knee or got a cut on your hand? Did your mother tenderly wash it, and then put […]
Uncle Clyde, the Redneck Gentleman Farmer Knows How to Please His Customers
I ran into Uncle Clyde the other day. Uncle Clyde’s one of those people you’re related to but you’re never quite sure how. We have a lot of those type relatives in the […]