Candy Rules!
I like candy. And I’m a grownup. So there. Now before you get all up in my Triglyceride grill, I don’t binge on it or eat it all day long. But I sure do […]
Tag: McDonald’s
Burritos or Betelgeuse……
John and I were rumba-ing, quite nicely I might add, when my cell phone buzzed in my bottom. I was thinking I had the sexy rumba move down pat, but then realized it was my […]
Souls of the Damned Loves Ice Cream
A man saw what he describes as “the souls of the damned” in his McDonald’s ice cream sundae. While some religious folk saw the “omen” as a reminder of how the world has turned toward […]
Unicorn Bites 8/8/14
Wife: I think I’m a very forgiving person Me: You stabbed me over paint Wife: Next time learn the difference between eggshell & off white. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 8, 2014 [4-year-old daughter talks […]
Unicorn Bites 6/11/14
Productivity, meet Netflix. Netflix, meet- Netflix, put down that knife! Run, productivity! Run! Netflix, you killed it! Why? Oh why? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2014 Doctor: Questions? Me: How do I know if […]
Unicorn Bites 3/16/14
3-year-old: Daddy, are you stronger than a gorilla? Me: Is there one here? 3: No. Me: Then yes. Absolutely yes. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 16, 2014 3-year-old: What happens if my brain falls out? […]
Hungry and Holy
We recently had one of our many discussions about stuff. Jill Y thinks that people have lost track of the teachings of Confucius and any grasp of ethical goodness. I didn’t understand anything she said […]
Unicorn Bites 3/1/14
You’re officially an adult when you realize being honest and being polite are never the same thing. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 1, 2014 Wife: You didn’t notice my haircut Me: You didn’t notice mine […]
Tony’s phone must be off the hook.
Scurvy Jane decided that she was going to decide to do it. She thought about applying for the position for one week and three weeks and two days. It was a management position that included […]