Posts Tagged ‘ health ’

A Dental Memory Dam

September 28, 2017
By

I have the same relationship with my dentist that many people do with family members: I love him and appreciate him, but I don’t actually want to see him. I suppose that’s not unusual, but…

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Pumpkin candies are here!

September 22, 2017
By

Suspicions: I have a feeling my wife is out to get me. She was all of 39 years old when she decided she didn’t want to be 40. So she punishes me. What is she…

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The day a mysterious package came

March 17, 2017
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My wife and I don’t use our home phone. We use our cell phones. In fact, the only people calling us on our land line are salespeople and scammers, making me often wonder why we…

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All charged up for the New Year

December 30, 2016
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When my son was born 13 years ago, my wife and I couldn’t even pay someone large sums of cash we didn’t have to get an invite to a New Year’s Eve party. It was…

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And Now for a Massage from the Swedish Prime Minister…Monty Python

May 19, 2016
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As we were discussing our daughters’ fierce food requirements when they come to visit, my friend, Pat revealed that she feels the same way as I do about  the wonders of kale. Pat’s daughter is…

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I Recently Joined a Health Club. Eventually, I Might Even Try Using It.

March 8, 2016
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I’m a little discouraged. You see, about six months ago, I joined a health club with all the latest fitness equipment. But in all that time, I have hardly lost any weight. And by “hardly”…

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Forget Resolutions: Try Goals

January 1, 2016
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I don’t have this peculiar, almost pathological hatred of New Year’s resolutions some people have. Maybe that’s because I haven’t made one since 1989, and so haven’t experienced the loathing that comes with breaking them.…

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My Trip to the Dentist

December 1, 2015
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I hate going to the dentist – the sound of a dentist’s drill carving up my tooth and that painful Novocain needle. And that’s what I’m about to endure today. I am going to dread…

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Have You Heard About Dyzastra?

November 24, 2015
By

17Have you been feeling sluggish lately? Why not try Dyzastra? (“Di-ZAH-Struh”) Do you have a spare tire around your middle that you’d like to get rid of? How about trying Dyzastra? Stomach pain, the common…

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Medals For Bruce

June 11, 2015
By
Medals For Bruce

There’s a petition going around to strip Bruce Jenner of all Olympic medals, what with Bruce actually being Caitlyn and all. (Why change the name? I know a woman named George–why not Bruce?) Take medals…

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