Cartoon: Cell-ebrity Apprentice
Tag: jail
Are You a Magnificent Sunbeam? – Part One: Negatives
We might think ourselves bad. We might think ourselves good. We’d very much like to be good. We aspire to be magnificent sunbeams. But are we? Thanks to the amazingly accurate test below we can […]
Fun Things to Do at the DMV
Dance as a Greek goddess at the DMV Everybody knows that waiting in line at the DMV is the most soul-sucking experience imaginable. But we are all wrong. Just because the slow lines inside the […]
This isn’t an emergency, but …
I’ve been feeling a little old lately, and it might have to do with the fact that I’ll soon hit my 28th anniversary as a 911 dispatcher. Doesn’t seem possible, does it? I mean, I […]
My Time in the Slammer – A True Story
Yes I was once in jail: The lock-up. The slammer. The tank. The can. This is my tale. I guess it is pretty typical: Freudian Psychoanalyst father. Over-educated mother who abusively corrected my grammar until […]
Hypocrisy, the Christian Way
Mike Huckabee visited anti-gay marriage crusader and four-times divorced Kentucky clerk Kim Davis in jail to lend her moral support. Davis did not comment on the visit, but prison guards had to wonder if the […]
Our Land’s Welfare Leeches
The welfare system continues to spiral out of control. Millions and millions dollars of our tax dollars flow into the lazy mouths of these lazy bums who do little but sleep, eat, and make more […]
Worlds Dumbest Criminal Resume & Cover Letter
Finding work when you’re a petty criminal can be difficult! That’s why you need help from Dumbass Resume Writers. We help you by taking all your special talents and experience and writing a personalized cover […]
Unicorn Bites 3/29/14
Clerk: How many balloons do you need? Me: Enough to lift my house. Clerk: Pixar movies aren’t real life. Me: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2014 I have 2 little […]