Periodic Table of The Schmucks
Is the man in your life a schmuck? Consult this easy-to-use guide and see! Bd “Brooding Dude” “You’re the only one who can truly understand me. Don’t enjoy the party! Spend all evening trying to […]
Tag: men
Men caught between a rock and a hard place
Talk about the proverbial horns of a dilemma. Research suggests that marrying an intelligent woman helps protect a man from dementia. Another study, however, says that men are terrified of smart women. Don’t you just […]
SLEEPING APES AND WASHING DISHES: WHAT I LEARNED FROM MAGAZINES HIS WEEK
Reading magazines this week, I learned that: Every 34 seconds, someone in the U.S. has a heart attack. (AARP Magazine 3/16) Mike Love is considered one of the biggest assholes in the history of rock […]
Epic Fail, Also Called Valentine’s Day
Unfortunately for me, Valentine’s Day comes during a time of year in which I don’t do well. I’ve said before that the only good thing about February is that it isn’t January, but let’s face […]
How to Open a Christmas Present
Christmas will be here any day now. Well, actually, it will be here in three days, but it sounds more dramatic the way I say it. As a strict Christmas traditionalist, I feel that this […]
Can The Bacon Press Iron Out Your Love Life?
We were ahead of schedule to pick up our grandpup Theo at daycare, so my husband and I decided to grab some lunch to pass the time. In a shopping center near Theo’s school, we […]
How NOT to Attract a Man (10 Easy Suggestions)
Many books and articles have been written about how to attract a man. I was thinking about this, and it occurred to me that the market has been glutted with how-to advice when it comes […]
Unicorn Bites #544
4-year-old: What’s hope? Me: The first stage of disappointment. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014 How women plan a party: 1) Pick a theme 2) Make decorations 3) Cook festive foods How men plan […]
Unicorn Bites #530
Me: What do bunnies eat? 4-year-old: Grass. Me: What do lions eat? 4: Meat. Me: What do eagles eat? 4: Freedom. Damn right. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2014 4-year-old: Why aren’t we driving? […]
Unicorn Bites 9/20/14
I don’t care what the vet says. If your dog weighs less than 10 pounds, it’s a cat. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 20, 2014 4-year-old daughter: Why don’t you make milk for the baby? […]