Unicorn Bites 9/9/14
What was the point in making your car louder, bro? Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 9, 2014 Not […]
Tag: men
CALL ME TINDER-ELLA
“Everyone’s on it. It’s no biggie.” So said my friend Joshua at work the other day regarding the on line dating craze that’s sweeping the nation – Tinder. “You just put your picture in. Say […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember
Never put your shoes on the wrong feet. Your feet will become confused and start to walk in opposite directions. If you are a foot model for disgusting pictures on a podiatrist’s wall, don’t wear […]
Unicorn Bites 7/10/14
4-year-old daughter: Why don’t you wear makeup? Me: Because I don’t need to. I’m a boy. 4: Do you like to be ugly? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 10, 2014 4-year-old: Will you buy me […]
Don’t Blame The Cake
http://gty.im/165003635 I’m starting to lose my faith in God. I’m starting to believe that there may not be a big smart someone up there guiding me and protecting me because if there were he would […]
Unicorn Bites 5/21/14
Daycare lady: Your 4-year-old pretended to be a Jedi and attacked a kid. Right answer: It won’t happen again. What I said: Was he a Sith? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2014 My wife […]
Unicorn Bites 5/13/14
“Just be yourself.”—people who want me to fail at life — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2014 Me: Well? Doctor: You’re it M: What?! D: You got tagged in 1991 & never tagged anyone else […]
Personal Hygiene Products – Men and Women
They don’t call me MacGyver and that’s because I’m not good with my hands. Give me a glove and I’ll know what to do with it but ask me to fix the flux capacitor and […]
Who Takes Out The Trash On The Space Station?
I mean, seriously, who does it? Because people are people, even if they are astronauts, and basic human nature has to intervene at some point. If the ISS operates anything like things do around my […]