Unicorn Bites 5/23/14
Me: Pick out shoes. 4-year-old: For today? Me: No, for your college graduation in 18 years. 4: M: 4: But my feet will be bigger then. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2014 I always […]
Tag: twitter
Don’t Text And Read This
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK At work the other day, while taking a 911 call, calling a police unit on the radio, checking an address on a map, and following an approaching storm system on […]
Unicorn Bites 4/19/14
Me: I won the donut-eating contest Boss: It wasn’t a contest. It was just a box of donuts. For everyone. And you ate them all Me: Loser — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2014 Wife: […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please help me to get out of the proverbial dog house for upsetting my wife. After an unfortunate eyebrow waxing incident I told her she looked fine. However, as she left for work […]
Unicorn Bites 3/27/14
Me: Do you think Luke Skywalker is hot? Wife: No, he’s lukewarm. M: W: M: W: M: W: If you tweet that I said that, I’ll kill you. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 27, 2014 […]
I don’t find answers, I sculpt monuments of solutions.
And so, the inevitable, inevitably happens. The unflappable belief I have in my own brilliance, knows no bounds or so I thought. I know this sounds stupid but what if I’m not perfect? I did […]
Those Bathroom Waving Things
I have “issues” with taking a sit-down in public restrooms. I am no primadonna. I just have issues and, when the need arises on a roadtrip, I have to seek out a clean, name brand hotel for a […]
My Shrinking Attention Span
Well, it’s happened. My attention span has plummeted to that of a goldfish, or so I learned while surfing on a BBC Online site. Some killjoy researcher from the Equine Institute of Technology has discovered […]