Learning from the Romans
In an effort to keep my aging brain cells from going AWOL, to take advantage of a great employee perk, and because I am a glutton for punishment, I am taking a class in ancient […]
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Toilet Underbite: Bad Holiday Decorating
I’m deep into holiday decorating and now my toilet seat has an underbite. The threat of company has others garlanding hallways, but not me. I’m disgruntled at the ancient toilet seat in the guest bathroom. […]
Great Moments of Insight
“Insiders buy stocks for only one reason. They think the prices will go up.” – From an online advertisement. “Heat rises in Holland.” – Dutch real estate agent Whoa, slow down. Let me […]
How to Grow Up to Be a Writer (Part One)
Breakfast… Most people forget it’s even a meal. Others preach of it’s importance. For me, it was awkward. See my father was kind of a man whore, who always left me to clean up his […]
Bat Attack: Swooping and Swatting
Around midnight, a dark creature swooped into my living room, and I mistook it for a bird. When a rodent’s face fluttered up against mine, I whooped, the coffee table was upended, and papers went […]
Our Land’s Welfare Leeches
The welfare system continues to spiral out of control. Millions and millions dollars of our tax dollars flow into the lazy mouths of these lazy bums who do little but sleep, eat, and make more […]
Coming Soon! Edible Cookbook! Exclamation Points!
Disreputable sources close to me assert, “Shoestring Publications is about to set the book market on its ear.” You betcha. While most books can only be read or be used to prop open windows, […]
Weiner Schnitzel and the National Brick Variety Research Center
Austrian Entree WIENER SCHNITZEL INGREDIENTS 4 6-ounce veal cutlets 1 teaspoon pepper 1 teaspoon salt 2 eggs 1¾ cups flour 12 ounces lard or butter 1⅓ cups breadcrumbs 1 lemon SPECIAL UTENSIL kitchen mallet 3 […]
Bad Artist #5, Words
Haiku to Heteroskedasticity Some words are quite long Heteroskedasticity Is one of those those.* * = “Those those” because the last line needs five syllables. Haikus aren’t easy to write either. – Paul R. De […]
Coconut Milk Chicken and Ravenous Crocodiles
Madagascan Entree COCONUT MILK CHICKEN INGREDIENTS 4 chicken breasts 4 tablespoons lemon juice 1 tablespoon lemon zest ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper ½ teaspoon pepper 1 teaspoon salt 2 medium onions 2 Roma or small tomatoes […]