NFL player Plaxico Burress was released from prison today. So his status has changed from “locked up” to “locked out”.
Shopping for a man’s gift always presents a challenge. Sure there are the golf clubs, the practical-yet-always-welcome-case of beer, the 52-inch dream TV, but for some men, these popular gifts are not enough. Some men […]
Mother Nature must be a man. Who else would play this mid-life trick on women? Women lose their sex drive and men get Viagra. I’d like to thank the pharmaceutical industry for their complicity. I’m […]
I’m gonna open a massage parlor called “Happy Endings.” I’ll show Disney movies during your session, followed by a hand job..
I was sick a couple of weeks ago when I walked into a used car dealership. I had just come out of the hospital with a combination asthma, bronchitis, and pneumonia attack, so I wasn’t […]
I’m tired of all these needy people, always refusing to take responsibility for themselves, and crying at the slightest discomfort. Babies should just grow up already. They’re bald and toothless, anti-social, and they can’t give […]
Being a man who has made a meager living writing revisionist history in my award-winning American History series—a series no less an authority than my wife refers to as “that stupid shit you write”—I know […]
Have you ever walked into a bar at closing time? It can be a humorous event. By the time last call is announced and the patrons have tossed their car keys in the Need-A-Cab basket […]
Humor is as old as mankind itself. It is likely that cave dwellers, while hunting for food, would play a prank on the youngest member by somehow getting him to step in or apply […]
We first met at a restaurant which is now one of our favorite places to visit. As a man, a former bleeding heart bachelor, stating that “we” have a favorite place makes me die a […]