Unicorn Bites 2/23/14

My 1-year-old daughter said, “awesome,” and then put up her hand for a high-five. Apparently I’m raising a bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2014 Bad news would be easier to take if doctors […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/21/14

What my kids use as a trampoline: 1) the couch 2) the bed 3) me if I lie down What they don’t use as a trampoline: 1) our trampoline — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 21, […]

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Unicorn Bites 1/6/14

3-year-old: *spreads her arms* I love you this much. Me: You love me 3 feet? I’m 6’2”. You love half of me. 3: Me: I GAVE YOU LIFE — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January […]

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Unicorn Bites 11/20/13

Is it “for fuck’s sake” or “for fuck sake?” I need it to be grammatically correct because it’s my turn to say grace at Thanksgiving. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2013 3-year-old: […]

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Unicorn Bites 11/9/13

I’d be the best character in any horror movie. *sees something supernatural* *drives away and never comes back* *lives forever* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2013 I swerved to avoid a stray […]

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Friday Humor Devotional

Dear Lord, please give me the strength and the talent to act surprised when my husband and kids bring me breakfast in bed for Mother’s Day with a menu of extra cheese omelet, strawberry yogurt […]

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When Parents Visit

  This week, I was lucky enough to have my parents visit us. It has been a long time since they made the treks, so I wanted everything to be perfect.  It’s funny about parents. […]

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