Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please help me explain to my overzealous exercise freak of a neighbor that doing his downward dog yoga position directly in front of his huge bay window is not only unattractive, it only […]
Tag: exercise
Dear Waistline
Dear Waistline, I represent my clients’ Swimsuit and Closet Full of Pants. This letter is served upon you as a cease and desist of your current activity as it has been brought to my attention […]
Negotiating with the neighbors
I’m bargaining with my neighbor to shovel our driveway. The only thing I can promise in return is not to do naked yoga with open windows. It’s a really strong negotiating tool. Downward […]
Unicorn Bites 10/18/13
Growing up, I wasn’t a fan of sit-ups or running, but I loved push-ups. My favorites were the orange Flintstones ones the Schwan man sold. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 18, 2013 […]
Unicorn Bites 9/21/13
Marriage: because it’s too much work to ruin your life all by yourself — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 21, 2013 I never run from my problems. I drive away from them because fuck […]
Exercise? Who, Me?
Living a life of lazy, indulgent pleasure is a lot of fun, at least for those of us who would rather use our minds than our muscles. That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it. […]
Why New Year’s Resolutions Go Belly Up
Somewhere between December’s cookie trays and January’s champagne toast, it hits you—too much of a good thing isn’t so good. Enter the New Year’s Resolution–the best invention since Pepto-Bismol to make you quickly feel a […]