Unicorn Bites 12/1/13
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn […]
Tag: Sex
Unicorn Bites 10/23/13
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 23, 2013 Side effects […]
Unicorn Bites 10/19/13
Don’t kid yourself. You don’t have multiple personalities. As far as I can tell, you don’t even have one. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 19, 2013 Autocorrect changed “honor” to “honour” because apparently […]
Unicorn Bites 9/13/13
Men have told the history of entire nations in fewer words than it took my wife to explain how she saved 38 cents on a bag of grapes. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September […]
Unicorn Bites 9/11/13
I said on my résumé that I’m goal oriented. I left out that my goal is to do as little work as possible without getting fired. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2013 […]
Unicorn Bites 8/27/13
Me: “Sex tonight?” My wife: “I guess.” I’m pumped. That’s the most enthusiastic about it she’s been in years. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 27, 2013 I liked you, but then I realized […]
Gettin’ The Job Done
San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is facing a chorus of calls for his resignation following a series of sexual harassment episodes. His plan is to take a two-week leave of absence to undergo intensive therapy […]
The Trick to Spicing up Your Love Life Might Be Right in Front of Your Eyes
Some people have fetishes; I get it. I don’t want to be a part of their fetish world, but I watch enough cable TV to know that lots of kinky stuff exists out there. […]
How NOT To Let Your Scandal Become A Dud
According to the Pew Research Center for People and the Press, the majority of Americans don’t care about the NSA scandal and believe that electronic surveillance for the use of finding terrorists is acceptable. So, […]