Unicorn Bites 12/13/13
Wife: A guy at work dropped acid Me: Did he listen to techno & babble about colors? W: No, he was treated for burns Chemists are so lame. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December […]
Tag: humoroutcasts
One Pension That Could Be Cut
So the debt-obsessed House just passed a budget deal. Not surprisingly, it delivers more bad cuts than a hair-cutting school that’s nearing bankruptcy. And as usual, it leaves out one of the easiest cuts that […]
Airport Baggage Claim Jagoffs
At the airport baggage claim, why do people have to stand right at the edge of the conveyor belt in the way of EVERYONE ELSE who is trying to pick up their bags? Can’t these people see their homemade curly-glittery-red-ribbon handle markers from […]
Unicorn Bites 12/11/13
Me: Don’t say "fart." 3-year-old: Is it a bad word? Me: You’re fucking right it is. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 11, 2013 Surgeons can now replace damaged human heart values with pig […]
Awesome Business Idea #67
The other day I was in a store, looking for a carry-on item. You know, those tiny tubes of stuff sold at inflated prices that are allowable on airplane flights. Someday we’re gonna find out […]
Barkin’ Around the Christmas Tree – HumorOutcasts Holiday Greeting to All
As HO readers and writers know, our office assistants, Frankie and LuLu, tackle the Christmas/Holiday message each year. This year, we had an added bonus of two snowstorms within two days which gave the “girls” […]
Unicorn Bites 12/10/13
Judge: Did you kill this man? Me: He said "j/k." Judge: That’s no excuse. Me: He actually said "slash." Judge: Not guilty. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 10, 2013 Sorry, bro, but this […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember: Cats and Christmas
Any and all Christmas decorations may be turned into cat toys, at the discretion of the cat. WARNING: This includes Nativity figurines. The cat doesn’t know that knocking the Holy Family to the floor is […]
Unicorn Bites 12/9/13
My 1-year-old is learning to give a high-five, but she’s unclear on where her hand should land. She basically just slaps people in the face. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 9, 2013 I […]
If Only They Could Use Their Knowledge for Good
If it looks like a gun and holds cartridges like a gun and shoots like a gun, it must be a gun–right? Well, not so fast. While shopping for the Hubby’s Christmas presents which always involves […]