What This Country Needs
Be afraid of shredded meat, be very afraid This country desperately needs shredded beef, pork, and chicken that doesn’t stick in our teeth. We get irriated when shredded meat gets stuck between our […]
Tag: lions
An American Tourist’s Guide to Africa
I have traveled all over the world, to Europe, China, and even to Canada. So, I think I know a thing or two about how to get around in foreign cultures – with the exception […]
Brownies and How They Shaped Aerial Combat
American Dessert BROWNIES INGREDIENTS 13 tablespoons butter 1 cup unsweetened cocoa ¼ teaspoon salt 1 cup sugar 1¼ teaspoon vanilla extract 3 eggs ½ cup flour no-stick spray. Brownies assuming a defensive posture against lions. […]
Our Land’s Welfare Leeches
The welfare system continues to spiral out of control. Millions and millions dollars of our tax dollars flow into the lazy mouths of these lazy bums who do little but sleep, eat, and make more […]
Cannibal Rats Cruises’ One Way Voyages
Do you have an annoying neighbor who blasts Justin Bieber until five in the morning? Do you have a tyrannical boss? And how do you simultaneously reward your nagging spouse and collect on that rather […]
Unicorn Bites 9/22/13
My 1-year-old sat on my lap and said, “Bye.” I think she’s planning to kill me. The worst part is she’ll still be adorable while she does it — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September […]
Fox News Study: Male Lions Depressed By Constant Sex and Relaxation
Nearly 96% of all male lions are clinically depressed, says a new study by Fox News’ new biology research wing. Their sadness stems from the fact that their only familial responsibilities include sleeping all day, […]