Posts Tagged ‘ pizza ’

Freezing my butt off? Not so much

January 30, 2014
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Freezing my butt off? Not so much

I want my money back. I distinctly remember hearing that if I moved to Northern Virginia, I’d be able to “freeze my butt off” in the winter on top of this damn mountain. Well, my…

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Friday Humor Devotional

January 17, 2014
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Friday Humor Devotional

Dear Lord, please remind our granddaughter’s lovely teenage friend who graciously offered to make us pizza for dinner.  When the directions say remove the plastic from the frozen pizza then place in oven, it means…

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Football Sunday Catheterization

January 15, 2014
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Emergency Laughter

Every beer drinking football fan knows that you don’t buy beer, you just rent it. What goes in, must come out. Are you tired of missing game winning plays on TV because you’re standing over a…

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Unicorn Bites 12/8/13

December 8, 2013
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Unicorn Bites 12/8/13

Wife: You’re a terrible husband. Me: I can change. *transforms into a dragon* *proves to also be a terrible dragon-husband* — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 8, 2013 I fed my 1-year-old pizza and chocolate for…

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Unicorn Bites 12/4/13

December 4, 2013
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Me: "Let’s go. I’ve got the kid buckled up." Wife: "You mean 'kids,' plural, right?" Me: "I’ll be right back." — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 4, 2013   My boss asked me to do an…

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Dena Blizzard’s Sex Tape

August 6, 2013
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Dena Blizzard’s Sex Tape

Comedian Dena Blizzard shares her most intimate moments with HumorOutcasts! [embedplusvideo height=”255″ width=”476″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/191gX0N” standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/LRys9q3gmXE?fs=1″ vars=”ytid=LRys9q3gmXE&width=476&height=255&start=&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=1&chapters=&notes=” id=”ep9541″ /] . Dena BlizzardDena’s been featured in the NY times and has performed in clubs throughout the country…

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Kathy’s Points to Remember

June 25, 2013
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You’re only as fat as you feel, and I feel like having more ice cream. It’s hot outside, and the body needs to be cooled, preferably with something that tastes good. Pizza contains protein and…

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The NSA Called To Tell Me…

June 12, 2013
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Now that we know the NSA has been listening in on our cell phone conversations, it seems they no longer feel the need to keep their presence a secret. As a matter of fact, they…

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Every Emergency Contact Sheet Tells A Story

January 29, 2013
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I’m currently temping at a production company in their Human Resources department. My job is to take the paperwork in their employees’ files and input it into their new database. Yes, Hollywood is indeed glamorous.…

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Atheists Rescue Christian Pets

May 19, 2011
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What is a devoted Christian to do?  Here, the Rapture is only one day away and many Christians have yet to make survival arrangements for their little Fido or Kitty.  As everyone knows, pets can’t…

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