The Place to Take a Humor Break
Me: *hugs 4-year-old* I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world. 4-year-old: I’d trade you for pizza. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 19, 2014 Me: What’s wrong? 4-year-old: I wish everything was made out […]
2-year-old: I don’t want to eat my pork chop! Me: Name one thing that’s wrong with it. 2-year-old: It’s not pizza. Touché. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2014 500,000 teens followed a random Target […]
Let this be a lesson of hope. Never be afraid to dream big for fear of being let down. Always aim for the stars and one day, you too might just find your very own Kit Kat […]
4-year-old: Grown-ups can do what they want Me: Yup 4: Why don’t you eat pizza for every meal? Me: 4: Me:*takes a hard look at my life* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 2, 2014 4-year-old: […]
Avoid tears while cooking. Cut onions underwater. Take deep breath. Get wet. Have a pound of dill. Nearby chefs are so jealous. Defend home with mace. Zen Chef wants pizza. Make me one with everything. […]
Arising at 4 A.M. to get to my brother-in-law’s apartment before the ambulance transport so that I could quickly give him his medications before surgery, as archly instructed by the hospital staff, may have fuzzed up my mind. […]
And so it came to pass, that Jill Y asked me to think about something. She gave me three choices: 1) Rivers of Jammu and Kashmir. 2) Toblerone. 9) Thirsty Dave’s facial expressions when he […]
Mexican Entree CAESAR’S SALAD INGREDIENTS 1 head romaine lettuce 4 bread slices 2 garlic cloves 1/4 cup olive oil (1 tablespoon more later) 2 ounces anchovies, cut in half (optional) 1 egg 2 teaspoons Dijon […]
Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” taught kids it’s OK to kill two women as long as they’re ugly and no one likes them. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 7, 2014 I ate a whole […]