An After Christmas Ritual
(Bonus points if you can identify all the TV shows referenced.) Santa Claus had this ritual, one he followed every year after he finished delivering gifts for all those little boys and girls. […]
Tag: Christmas
A Crisis Of Chocolate
Now, before you panic (like I did), keep in mind that this dire prediction has been made before. I even wrote about it in a past column. The prediction: a chocolate shortage. Okay, you can […]
My Family’s Christmas Miracle – by Tim Jones
Once upon a time there was a humble family man named Tim. Tim loved the holiday season more than any other time of year – all the traditional songs, twinkling lights, frosted gingerbread cookies – […]
Go Ahead, Start Christmas Now
As all fourteen of my regular readers know, I’ve always had this thing about putting up Christmas decorations, or in any way mentioning Christmas, before Thanksgiving. By “thing” I mean seeing anything Christmas related before […]
Misheard Christmas Hymn, Silent Night
Admit it, when you were little, instead of hearing “Round yon virgin,” you heard: Misheard hymn #3 – Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D. Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran […]
Misheard Hymn 3
Misheard Hymn 2 Many people thought a line in the Christmas hymn “Away in a Manger” had a startingly vivid depiction of bovine violence toward the Christ child. Instead of hearing, “The cattle are lowing, […]
Food to Die For: Paul’s 365 Meals of Murder, Mayhem, and Mischief – November 14
November 14: This American entree honors a man high on bath salts breaking into a home and putting up Christmas decorations. .Just one trial of bath salts can lead to intense withdrawal symptoms such as: […]
How the Grinch Spent Christmas
I was in Dollar General— I don’t make this stuff up— When I ran into the Grinch, And his reindeer, the pup. “What brings you to town?” I asked, to be nice. “The last […]
Thanksgiving Found Battered and Beaten In Back Alley. Police Clueless.
The holiday of Thanksgiving was found badly beaten in a back alley today. The holiday, which has been waning in power and influence in the last decade, is now virtually homeless and forgotten as it […]
Grammar Lust
GRAMMAR HAIKU #1 It is a truism. Good grammar and chocolates Will impress your date. GRAMMAR HAIKU #2 Remember tonight, Lust is fleeting but grammar Endures forever. Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, […]