Business Ain’t For Everyone
In college I worked in a grimy little bar to keep solvent financially. The windowless, cinderblock establishment was called “Bandidos”. It doesn’t get much cheesier than that. The guy who managed the bar had the […]
In college I worked in a grimy little bar to keep solvent financially. The windowless, cinderblock establishment was called “Bandidos”. It doesn’t get much cheesier than that. The guy who managed the bar had the […]
I think I really scared the new girl in work today and not in a good way. She mentioned that she thought my cell phone was cool. I told her that a phone is merely […]
I have a way of finding things in unusual places. Take, for example, the time I found one of my socks on the kitchen floor, next to the door. It was just one gray and […]
It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2014 Me: I’m one card away from […]
I’ve never heard the music of Edvard Grieg and I don’t necessarily want to, but that’s neither here nor there and is totally irrelevant to this story. Thinking about it now, I’m not sure why I […]
The untold story of Serious Steve Sanderson remains untold until now. A man who was widely known for having no sense of humor, Serious Steve spent his days and nights, being as serious as the […]
Wife: Did you eat all the Girl Scout cookies? Me: No W: The box is empty M: W: You have like 4 cookies in your mouth M: I want a lawyer — James Breakwell, Exploding […]
A smart man once said something I didn’t listen to. That smart man was me but I never listen to myself so there’s nothing new there. If the sound of my voice is half as […]
Me: What’s the most recent picture you have of me? My mom: *pulls out an ultrasound pic* Me: That’s it? Mom: You weren’t a pretty child. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 11, 2014 […]
Jill Y made me jump through hoops and I’m not talking metaphorically. She actually got hoops and made me jump through them to prove I love her. I love her now and I’ve always loved […]