Unicorn Bites 3/18/14

I drink in moderation, but I define “moderation” as “not quite enough to kill me.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 18, 2014 A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/21/14

What my kids use as a trampoline: 1) the couch 2) the bed 3) me if I lie down What they don’t use as a trampoline: 1) our trampoline — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 21, […]

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Unicorn Bites 2/3/14

Me: *changes 1-year-old’s poopy diaper* Wife: How bad was it? Does she need a new outfit? Me: We need a new house. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 3, 2014 Me: I’m going to turn you […]

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The Good Things Store

Jill Y and I, may not be the greatest parents that the world has never awarded an accolade but we’re definitely not as bad as the parents who allowed their kid to starve to death […]

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