HOW TO ANNOY YOUR CHILDREN
From the moment they are born, our children are a tremendous source of pride—first words, first steps, the gold star on their progress reports, the lead role in a school play…we are always there, cheering […]
Tag: kids
Unicorn Bites 1/30/14
2 inches of snow forced kids in Atlanta to spend the night at school. Canadians have a word for that much snow. It’s “summer.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 30, 2014 Boss: Stop swearing at […]
Would You Rather…?
Having a five-year-old boy, I am reminded of how much kids like gross stuff. I don’t know what it is about bodily functions, and disgusting activities that appeals to the younger set. Right now, we […]
Cars That Drive People
Lately, the news has been full of stories about “automatic cars.” Supposedly, these are the cars of the not so distant future. Basically, they will be able to drive themselves, freeing us […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please forgive me for my inebriated antics at our company Christmas party. I put on the Christmas stockings I bought for my kids claiming they were the latest holiday footwear then lied to […]
Unicorn Bites 12/6/13
“Warning: This show may contain adult situations. Viewer discretion advised.” *a man pays bills and complains about his kids* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2013 Wife: Are we stocked up for the […]
Unicorn Bites 11/15/13
My wife doesn’t think pregnancy makes her crazy. I agreed with her so she would stop screaming and put down the machete. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 15, 2013 When you say, “I […]
Unicorn Bites 11/12/13
You’re officially an adult when you realize pessimism and wisdom are basically the same thing. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 12, 2013 Some pregnant women crave fruit or chocolate. My wife ate a […]
Why are we all screaming?
We might all scream for ice cream, but I scream the loudest because I fricking love ice cream and I’m also super competitive. Either way, I’m proud to be an ice cream screamer, even if […]
Your Kid Could Be The Next Disney Channel Star!
The Disney Channel is conducting a nationwide talent search to discover their next crop of child stars. In case any of you parents out there are thinking of taking your children to one of these […]