Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please forgive me for lying to our four-year-old son and six-year-old daughter when I told them that the Big Foot devoured their chocolate Easter bunnies. When they asked why he ate only the […]
Tag: kids
The kids aren’t alright
I find myself to be continually stunned with the lack of imagination in kids these days. I just said kids these days. I have officially become an adult. My parents said this would happen. I […]
Unicorn Bites 4/10/14
Her: I’m out of your league. Me: By about 20,000 leagues, I’d say. Her: Me: Because you’re a sea monster. Her: Me: READ A FUCKING BOOK — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 10, 2014 Me: Do […]
Practical space travel
You can tell alot about a person by what they take to space. The first time I met my son, he proposed the following question to me: “If you’re getting on a spaceship, and you […]
Good Parent/Bad Parent
One of the best ways to mitigate emotional pain is to laugh at it. I present this with that in mind. So much humor writing revolves around parenting that someone like me, who never had […]
5 Reasons Insanity Doesn’t Work (Part 2)
Good sports are hard to come by, especially in my family. I come from a long line of paranoid, defensive, no-names who think that they are important enough for the world to plot against. In […]
Older Brothers Behaving Badly
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
Unicorn Bites 2/23/14
My 1-year-old daughter said, “awesome,” and then put up her hand for a high-five. Apparently I’m raising a bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2014 Bad news would be easier to take if doctors […]
Unicorn Bites 2/21/14
What my kids use as a trampoline: 1) the couch 2) the bed 3) me if I lie down What they don’t use as a trampoline: 1) our trampoline — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 21, […]
Unicorn Bites 2/17/14
My 1-year-old always uses her middle finger. When she points to food, I don’t know if she means “I’m hungry” or “fuck those green beans.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 17, 2014 If someone asks […]