Unicorn Bites 4/1/14
I don’t recycle because if I set aside all my empty bottles and cans I’d have to admit I’m an alcoholic. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 1, 2014 I’ve been drinking coffee for so long […]
Tag: women
Unicorn Bites 3/28/14
Things women do when they play hard to get: 1) block your phone number 2) move 3) marry someone else Don’t give up on her, bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 28, 2014 Me: Where […]
Unicorn Bites 3/21/14
“Grease” is so fake. I’ll go along with a 24-year-old John Travolta being in high school, but I refuse to believe he wanted to bang a woman. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 21, 2014 Me: […]
The Reluctant Homemaker
My Mom and my Grandma made valiant attempts to domesticate me when I was a kid back in the 50s and early 60s. They were worried because I was a tomboy. I was not above […]
Unicorn Bites 2/19/14
The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2014 I don’t understand unhappy […]
Unicorn Bites 2/15/14
If a female tennis star grunts, it’s OK, but if I do it, I’m “causing a scene at the air hockey table.” Now I’m banned from Chuck E. Cheese. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 15, […]
The Gift of Joy?
Each holiday, I search the internet to help you in your quest to find the perfect gift. For this Valentine’s Day gift, I found only one gift because after stumbling upon this, I felt my […]
Opera for People Who Don’t Like It
The Stories Opera is more than just middle-aged fat people in period costumes making funny sounds. An opera is a play, with a plot. The only differences between operas and spoken plays are: (1) operas […]
Confessions of a Hopeless Shopper
I can’t walk into any retail establishment and come out with only what I intended to buy. I must have inherited this trait from my father, because all of my immediate female ancestors were great […]
We’re Sleepless In Seattle. But Are We Sexist Too? An Inquiry.
You might have seen the report floating around online. A study from the Public Religion Research Institute found that a full third of all football fans pray directly to God to help out their favorite […]