Practical space travel
You can tell alot about a person by what they take to space. The first time I met my son, he proposed the following question to me: “If you’re getting on a spaceship, and you […]
Tag: cats
Unicorn Bites 3/25/14
Ladies, only move in with guys who own cats. They’ve already been trained to serve small, ungrateful creatures who think they own the place — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 25, 2014 Justin Bieber is awfully […]
Cat Owner’s Guide to Home Decor
Most people think that having a cat in the house means the end of a clean, clutter-free home. Allow me to prove those pretentious misconceptions wrong by sharing my own home decor advice that any […]
Antigravity
This world is stupid and it’s not fair. Jill Y is a Scientist and gets to play with time machines, all the time. I’m not allowed to use the time machine or even touch the […]
Unicorn Bites 2/19/14
The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2014 I don’t understand unhappy […]
Who Put This Banana in the Drawer?
I have a way of finding things in unusual places. Take, for example, the time I found one of my socks on the kitchen floor, next to the door. It was just one gray and […]
The Ten Commandments for Cats
1. Thou shalt acknowledge thy human as master, obey her in all things, and neither bite nor scratch thy master for as long as thou shalt live. 2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any […]
Unicorn Bites 1/5/14
In my sex tape, my wife says, “Not tonight,” and then I play “Mario Kart” for two hours. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2014 Me: Please be quiet. I’m trying to hear […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember: Suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions
I will stop tickling the cat when she is not looking. I will at least attempt to go on a diet – for a few days, anyway. I promise to get rid of all the […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember: Cats and Christmas
Any and all Christmas decorations may be turned into cat toys, at the discretion of the cat. WARNING: This includes Nativity figurines. The cat doesn’t know that knocking the Holy Family to the floor is […]