Angie the Angry Avocado on Supermarket Behavior
Tag: sisters
Hairy Situations Added Color To Our Lives
My youngest daughter wanted to color her hair. Brown. Remember brown, it becomes important later. My oldest daughter volunteered to do the coloring. She’s good at that kind of thing. (At least she was then–this […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please accept my deepest apology for my behavior at the Parish Picnic. When Father O’Rourke asked if there was anyone who’d like to make a lighthearted confession I stated that I’d replaced the […]
Post-Traumatic Easy Bake Oven Disorder
What’s your favorite horrible holiday childhood memory? One of my cherished unpleasant flashbacks arrive every year during Thanksgiving. First, a few facts: I was born a few days after Thanksgiving Day in 1961. At birth, I weighed […]
Unicorn Bites 5/29/14
Friend: Are you coming to my mom’s funeral? Me: Is she gonna make her famous casserole? Friend: She’s dead. Me: Then I’ll pass. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 29, 2014 My wife’s favorite filter is […]
Older Brothers Behaving Badly
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
Unicorn Bites 3/6/14
Me: Now do you believe me? Wife: The fridge isn’t haunted. Me: Then who made all that ice? Wife: *walks away* Me: WHO?! — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 6, 2014 Wife: How much do you […]
Unicorn Bites 10/26/13
When an apple fell on Sir Isaac Newton’s head, I doubt he really said, “Aha, gravity.” What he really said was probably, “Fuck apples.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 26, 2013 Daycare lady: […]
Oh Brother
I grew up in a family with three older sisters (and no brothers). As a kid I often found my hair being braided and my fingernails being painted. As a result, I never braid my […]
An Easy Bake Love Affair
When I was in third grade, all I wanted for my birthday was the Deluxe Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven. I dreamed of owning it and cooking largesse meals for David Cassidy while the rest […]