Fitness and Doughnuts
Fitness and Doughnuts Who likes to stay fit? We all do! Who loves a doughnut? We all do! They’re yummy. Who wants to stay fit and eat doughnuts? Me! Me! Me! Me! Is that possible? Yes […]
Tag: calories
Deep Thinker Ponders Doughnuts
Deep Thinker asks the question we’ve all been thinking. Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D. Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available […]
What We All Really Want
Keeping fit with Doughnut Toss We all want to eat doughnuts all day long and never gain a pound. But that’s impossible, you say. Until now! Because of Doughnut TossTM. Yes, buy Doughnut Toss. It […]
This Many Calories In Four Tons of Makawoni Au Graten (Haitian macaroni and cheese)
A bit less than four tons. The brilliant foodie Italiandiva asks: “How many calories are there in four tons of Makawoni Au Graten?” Dear Italiandiva, Thank you for your interest. The answer is 10,533,019 calories. […]
Wisdom for Dummies
If you snack on the chocolate chips as you make the cookies, the cookies have fewer calories when you eat them later. Find more dubious advice in I Used to Think I Was Not That […]
How I Will Save The World From Bigass Comets And War
If you’re like me, the thought of three-mile-wide comet striking the Earth terrifies you. I mean the last time we got hit by one, woowee, things were bad! We’re talking mass extinction with exclamation points […]
Unicorn Bites 8/12/14
My recent Google searches: calories burned sitting calories burned chewing gum calories burned vigorously chewing gum pie recipes — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 12, 2014 2-year-old: *mumbles* Me: What did she say? 4-year-old: She said […]
A special prayer
I wasn’t even drinking when I wrote this. Our chicken nugget Who art pure heaven Tasty be thy name Thy platter come Thy will be done In the microwave as is in the oven […]
Unicorn Bites 1/10/14
3-year-old: Why is your belly so big? Wife: I have a baby in there 3: Does daddy have a baby, too? The fat shaming starts early. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 10, 2014 […]
Kathy’s Points to Remember
Food The calories in holiday food don’t count. The same principle applies to anything consumed in a movie theater, on a picnic or when nobody is looking. Those are the rules. It’s a crime to […]