Tag: dinosaurs
How I Will Save The World From Bigass Comets And War
If you’re like me, the thought of three-mile-wide comet striking the Earth terrifies you. I mean the last time we got hit by one, woowee, things were bad! We’re talking mass extinction with exclamation points […]
Grilled Saffron Chicken and Dinosaur Barbecues
Persian Entree GRILLED SAFFRON CHICKEN (Joojeh Kabab) INGREDIENTS 1 onion 1/2 tablespoon lime juice 1/2 cup olive oil 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1/4 teaspoon chili powder 1 gram (1/28 ounce) teaspoon saffron threads 1/4 teaspoon salt […]
Unicorn Bites 2/10/14
Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 10, […]
Unicorn Bites 1/20/14
Cops traced the malware attack at Target to a 17-year-old hacker. In the meantime, I’m almost 30 and I still can’t attach files to an email.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 21, 2014 Me: Let’s have […]
Unicorn Bites 12/15/13
My daughter got a book about eating healthy from a McDonald’s Happy Meal. That’s kind of like getting a lecture on being nice from Al-Qaeda. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 15, 2013 My […]
Unicorn Bites 9/11/13
I said on my résumé that I’m goal oriented. I left out that my goal is to do as little work as possible without getting fired. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2013 […]