SPAM
Part of my kitchen Things you need to know: 1) The derivation of the term “spam” for torrents of unsolicited e-mail and posts comes from a Monty Python skit where a diner serves SPAM, SPAM, […]
Tag: museum
Day at the Museum
As a good husband, I try to feign interest in my wife’s favorite passions. It’s easy when we’re talking kittens or kayaking. But the next time my wife asks, “Honey, how would you like to […]
CandylandTM to be Theme of Poway’s New Modern Art Museum
All Poway, California is buzzing with excitement. In just three month’s the town’s new in its tiara, the $188.2 million CowboyMetrics Museum will open. No one is prouder than museum curator, “Tex” Roland. “I’m just […]
Unicorn Bites #549
4-year-old: Is Santa real? Me: No. 4: The Easter bunny? Me: No. 4: Spider-Man? Me: You better hope Spider-Man didn’t hear that. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 3, 2014 Me: When you’re older, what do […]
Great Excuses For Late Homework
1) Teacher, I wrote my homework on paper made of matter. While I was walking to school, my homework paper collided with homework paper made of anti-matter. Woowee! It was almost the end of the […]
Colombian Hot Dogs and the Laziness Museum
Colombian Entree HOT DOGS INGREDIENTS 1 20-ounce can crushed pineapple 1 tablespoon lime juice 2½ tablespoons cornstarch 8 hot dogs 8 buns 1⅓ cup coleslaw (see recipe) ¾ cup shredded mozzarella cheese 7¼-ounce bag plain […]
Sailor’s Beef and When Lice Picked Mayors
Swedish Entree SAILOR’S BEEF (sjömansbiff) INGREDIENTS 1¼ pounds round steak (½” thick or 8 slices) 2 yellow onions 1½ pounds brown potatoes 1½ tablespoons butter (1½ tablespoons more later) ½ teaspoon pepper ¾ teaspoon salt […]
Tex Mex T Rex
Cretaceous Entree TEX MEX T REX INGREDIENTS 1 medium tyrannosaurus rex 300 garlic cloves 1,500 medium yellow onions 2,999 jars (18 ounces) barbecue sauce 1 15 ounce bottle organic ketchup 200 pounds chili powder 100 […]
I Really Know How to F Up My Kid!
The family went to the planetarium in Philadelphia this week. My parents were in town, I had a day off and the kids wanted to see the mummy exhibit. Well, my 8-year-old daughter did. My […]