What I Did Today
Venus. It’s hot. Woke up, got up, showed, and dressed. I graciously accept a medal for Achievement in Adulting. Went to my office. Saw no bunnies outside my window. Got bored. Dabbled in finance. Accidently […]
Tag: Time Machine
Sumac Chicken, Time Machines, and Fame
Palestinian Entree SUMAC CHICKEN(Musakhan) INGREDIENTS ¾ teaspoon cardamom¼ teaspoon cinnamon½ teaspoon nutmeg¾ teaspoon pepper¾ teaspoon salt3 tablespoons sumac1½ tablespoons lemon juice3 pounds chicken breasts4 medium red or yellow onions2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons […]
I Simplify Darts
Simple, Safe Darts Has this happened to you? You’re off to the local bar to play for the Dart Championship. You have a five-year old girl, Stella. She adores you. She wants to play darts […]
Chocolate Chip Cookies and World Peace
American Dessert CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES INGREDIENTS ¾ teaspoon baking soda 2¼ cups flour ½ teaspoon salt 1 cup butter, softened ¾ cup brown sugar ¾ cup sugar 2 eggs 1¼ teaspoons vanilla 12 ounces semisweet […]
Toad in the Hole and how to Avoid Kitchen Murder
British Entree TOAD IN THE HOLE INGREDIENTS 1 cup flour ¼ teaspoon mustard powder ½ teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons butter 3 eggs 1¼ cups milk 2 tablespoons vegetable oil (2 more tablespoons later) 2 pounds […]
Shrimp Tempura, Earthquakes, and T-Rexes
Japanese Appetizer SHRIMP TEMPURA INGREDIENTS 2½ cups vegetable oil (or enough to cover shrimp) 1½ cups flour 1 teaspoon baking powder ¼ cup cornstarch ¼ teaspoon salt 1 egg yolk 1 cup ice-cold water 1 […]
Mostly Helpful Cooking Tips #3
People often ask me, “Paul, what is the secret to culinary happiness?” Here are four more tips. 1) Guys, do not scratch your balls immediately after removing seeds from an habanero pepper. Watch your hands […]
Angolan Chicken Stew, Okraphobia, and Neat Future Inventions
Angolan Entree CHICKEN STEW (muamba de galinha) INGREDIENTS 3 pounds boneless chicken (Probably separate parts. If you can find a farm that raises organic boneless chickens, go for it.) 1 Scotch bonnet, habañero, or red […]
Tex Mex T Rex
Cretaceous Entree TEX MEX T REX INGREDIENTS 1 medium tyrannosaurus rex 300 garlic cloves 1,500 medium yellow onions 2,999 jars (18 ounces) barbecue sauce 1 15 ounce bottle organic ketchup 200 pounds chili powder 100 […]
Australian Meat Pie and Curly Howard
Australian Entree MEAT PIE INGREDIENTS – FILLING 2 pounds chuck or round steak 2 onions 2 tablespoons olive oil ½ teaspoon nutmeg ½ teaspoon pepper 1/4 teaspoon salt (1/4 teaspoon more later) 1/4 teaspoon thyme […]