The Fart Primer
Our schools teach us how to solve quadratic equations. Our schools teach us how to compose essays on 19th-century English literature. They do not teach real-life survival skills. Specifically, they do not point out what […]
Tag: milk
Iraqi Potato Beef Casserole, Scrabble, and World Domination
Iraqi Entree POTATO BEEF CASSEROLE (kibbe batata) INGREDIENTS 6 medium brown potatoes ½ teaspoon turmeric 2 garlic cloves 1 onion 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 pound ground beef or lamb 3 tablespoons parsley ¼ teaspoon […]
Custard Pie and Cranky Hippos
South African Dessert CUSTARD PIE (melktert) INGREDIENTS – PASTRY 2 cups flour (1 teaspoon plus 3 tablespoons more later) 1 teaspoon baking powder ¼ teaspoon salt (¼ teaspoon more later) ½ cup chilled butter (1½ […]
Coconut Milk Chicken and Ravenous Crocodiles
Madagascan Entree COCONUT MILK CHICKEN INGREDIENTS 4 chicken breasts 4 tablespoons lemon juice 1 tablespoon lemon zest ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper ½ teaspoon pepper 1 teaspoon salt 2 medium onions 2 Roma or small tomatoes […]
Percussive Repercussions.
I stand by my actions and insist I did no wrong. When Jill Y sends me to the store, she knows she has to be specific when telling me what to get. I got everything […]
Happy To Pee
One morning at work, I was on my way to the kitchen to get some milk for my cereal and wound up walking behind a […]
Curry Noodles and Your Extraterrestrial Clothes Dryer
Malaysian Soup CURRY NOODLES (laska) INGREDIENTS – PASTE 1 large shrimp (1 pound more later in SOUP) 5 garlic cloves 4 macadamian nuts 6 fresh red chiles (remove seeds to make less spicy) 5 shallots […]
Angolan Chicken Stew, Okraphobia, and Neat Future Inventions
Angolan Entree CHICKEN STEW (muamba de galinha) INGREDIENTS 3 pounds boneless chicken (Probably separate parts. If you can find a farm that raises organic boneless chickens, go for it.) 1 Scotch bonnet, habañero, or red […]
Unicorn Bites 6/12/14
4-year-old: I want to wear a skort! Me: A what? 4: It’s a skirt with shorts! Me: LEAVE. NOW. I don’t allow mad science in my house. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 12, 2014 Me: […]
Chocolate Egg Cream and How to Save Florida
American Dessert CHOCOLATE EGG CREAM INGREDIENTS 1 1/3 tablespoons Fox’s u-bet® original chocolate flavor syrup 2 tablespoons whole milk 9 tablespoons seltzer water (needs to be cold, needs to have all its fizz, preferably from […]